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Kathryn Kay: Director of Orientation, Georgetown University

Question:
Suppose a parent does not feel their child’s transition to college is going well academically and/or socially, yet the student says everything is fine. Is there anything a parent should do, or should they avoid interfering?

Answer:
If a student is not engaging in campus life or not doing as well academically as they used to, it may be due to other underlying issues like homesickness or stress. Rather than stating what you’re concerned about, it might help to first ask about the student’s perceptions of how the transition to college is going and acknowledging that it is a big transition (i.e. “So college must seem really different from high school. What have the major changes been?” or “It must feel strange to no longer have class 8 hours a day. Have you had to approach studying differently?”). Often students will then open up about how they feel about these changes, creating a great segue where you can suggest resources (i.e. “It sounds like it’s been hard to acclimate to campus without your high school friends. Have you reached out to that student group you liked during orientation? I remember that they were looking for new members, and it could be a great way to meet new people.” or “Do you remember when the Director from the Academic Resource Center talked at Orientation? She might be a good person to check in with about how to take better notes. Many people must struggle with that, otherwise there wouldn’t be an Academic Resource Center!”).

Question:
Related to the above, do you have any overall advice for a parent who wants to be supportive of their transitioning student, but also wants to avoid being a ‘helicopter parent’?

Answer:
First of all, I want to note that I hate the term “helicopter parent”. You have done a great job parenting and helping your children get to this point in their life, and for that you should be applauded. During this big transition, I know you are going to want to be as supportive as possible, just as you have at all the other times your child changed life stages.

Although sending children off to college seems more daunting than watching them take their first steps or learn to ride a bike, the way you help them transition is the same. When you accompany them to Orientation and Move-In, it is similar to when you held their fingers to help them learn to walk or when you held the back of their bike seat when the training wheels were first taken off. But eventually, you let go. And when you let go, you have a flurry of mixed emotions. You are excited that they are about to be able to do something on your own and also worried that they are going to fall. But you let go anyway and take a step back. And when they take their first step, you applaud and yell in support. And when they fall, you give them encouraging words and comforting hugs…but you don’t go back to carrying them and you don’t put the training wheels back on, because you know that they are eventually going to find success without that.

So when your child goes off to college, there are going to be triumphs as well as bumps. And both your child and the University community will want you there to encourage them, congratulate them, and help pick them back up. But it is important that you support them to solve issues and not solve them yourself. If your student has a rough time with his/her roommate, remind them that there is a Resident Assistant (R.A.) to go to for help and do not call the R.A. or Residence Life yourself. Try not to worry too much about the bumps that come along. Those are the best opportunities for them to learn how to be successful adults. Instead, just as when they were learning to walk, empower your children to take the steps on their own as you cheer from the sidelines.

Question:
For a student transitioning from other institution, what advice would you give them to adapt as smoothly as possible to their new environment.

Answer:
A lot of transfer students do not invest much in their new institution’s orientation program, because they already have had college experience. Although I know transfer students attend with different experiences from incoming freshmen, I would encourage them to use orientation to get to know their new campus, its resources, and some current students. Matriculating to a new institution will only made easier by starting with friendly faces and knowledge of what to expect.

Question:
Are there ways that parents can be helpful to orientation staff, to ensure that their child gets the most out of orientation?

Answer:
Often parents are unprepared to be separated from their student during Orientation. While it is certainly a big transition for both incoming students and their families, we recognize it is a different change for students than it is for parents. Because of this, we want to provide specified support through Orientation programs and ask parents to not accompany their child through his or her orientation and to not take your child away from any of their scheduled programming. Also, Parent and Family programs have important information that we do not want you to miss, so please try and make it to everything scheduled for parents. Even if this is not your first child you are sending to college, information can change by institution or by year, and we want to make sure you have everything you need to support your student. You can also see this as an opportunity to meet other families or to serve as a resource to parents who are going through this for the first time.

Question:
Are there any non-academic skills that you have noticed that many new college students lack?

Answer:
In my experience, the main skill that college students need to develop is knowing when to ask for support. I have watched students let something get out of hand rather than ask for help, either because they do not know about the appropriate resources or because they do not want to appear inept. On the other hand, I have also seen students immediately reach out to have someone help them without ever trying to solve the problem first. While we do want students to develop their autonomy, we also want them to successfully function interdependently and rely on others for support.

If you notice your child struggling and it is not an emergency or health-related situation, rather than solve the problem yourself or calling the appropriate campus resources for him/her, I suggest that you ask questions that will help him/her get to a solution or that you name the campus resources available and suggest that he/she reach out to them. That way you are empowering them to own the situation, while also acting as a safety net.

Kathryn Kay Bio:
Kathryn Kay currently serves as the Director of Orientation, Assistant Director of Student Programs, and Co-Coordinator of R. U. Ready at Georgetown University. After working at Accenture as a business consultant, specializing in Change Management for the Financial Services sector, she earned her Master of Education in College Student Affairs Administration at the University of Georgia. Since then, Kathryn has supported student activities and orientation programs at Georgia Tech, UGA, Kennesaw State University, and Georgetown University. Kathryn’s professional interests include orientation and transition programs, sexual assault education, and diversity education. She also currently sits on the Board of Directors as a Regional Coordinator for the National Orientation Directors Association (NODA).


Perhaps your son or daughter enjoys helping others and wants a career in the health care field. Sure, advanced college degrees are required for certain medical professions, however there are many health care occupations that do not require a traditional college degree. Modern health care relies heavily on sophisticated equipment and technology. Hospitals and other health care providers need skilled staff who understand how to utilize these high-tech tools and techniques to deliver superior care. Many of these individuals have gotten their skills from a medical tech school. The health care field is one of the few professions that is continually looking to hire staff (particularly those with cutting-edge skills). With that in mind, medical technology training is a great alternative to traditional college.

Maybe your daughter or son is drawn to more artistic pursuits. Modern technology has enhanced some of the creative tools available for those in artistic fields.
For example in the field of photography, the level of sophistication of photographic equipment and editing tools have advanced significantly in the last few years. Today’s photographic equipment can capture amazing imagery. A young photographer will need to learn how to take advantage of these technical tools, but will also need to master the art of photography. If this is the career direction your son or daughter is considering, they may want to look into and research available photography to learn the art and techniques of this field.

In future posts, we plan to discuss technology skills training options, schools of art & design, and other exciting alternatives to traditional college education. Parents, if you have an idea or suggestion for future posts related to this topic we would love to hear from you.

We noticed a recent article in the New York Daily News which provides a list of popular spring break destinations in the U.S. and their corresponding risks based on a survey by Avvo.com. Parents should do their own independent research, but this survey shows some interesting results.

Before their kids head off on spring break, parents should definitely make sure they get as much detail as possible about the location, arrangements, etc. to help limit potential spring break dangers and risks.

We plan to include college educators, staff, and administrators from a variety of schools – public, private, community colleges, small, large, all regions.

Examples of featured interviewees will include: orientation coordinators, R/As, transition staff, academic advisors, campus security & safety, parent association leaders, financial aid staff, etc.

We will interview not only department heads, but every level of staff particularly those that may have useful suggestions for parents. Our objective is not to focus the discussions on their particular school, but to discuss their general insights, observations and advice that would be pertinent to all parents, no matter what school their child is attending (or will be attending).

We also plan to interview relevant experts on various topics including authors, speakers, company representatives, politicians, etc.

We will do written interviews, but also plan to do some audio, and video interviews as well.

Parents, if you have a suggestion on someone who would be an insightful interview subject, please email us their name and contact info.
-Thanks in advance for your help : )

In the following year, the plans must lift the cap completely. In addition, such plans will no longer be permitted to establish annual limits on doctor visits, lab work, ER visits, and prescription coverage. These new rules are expected to affect over a million college students who don’t access health insurance through their parents or are 26 years old or above. If your college student needs student health insurance, find quotes easily on the internet.

This is an affiliate ad supported website. Links are provided for convenience only, and we are not responsible for their content. References at those websites to any specific commercial product, or service does not constitute or imply endorsement, association, recommendation, or favoring by CollegeTipsForParents.org or its related entities.

College staff and administrators pay a great deal of attention to this issue. However, what should college parents do to ensure that their student remains in college and eventually gets their degree?

In future posts, we will address this issue, and include some suggestions that we are gathering from college staff, successful college students, college parents, and college retention experts.

This article written for CollegeTipsForParents.org by Talia Goren was previously featured on our site in 2008. Talia discusses the many new encounters that all new college students go through, such as new surroundings, new people, professors, etc. She gives great suggestions on specific steps students can take to make the transition less stressful. Her tips are also useful suggestions for parents helping their children adapt to college life and the student’s college transition.

Many students have minor coronaries at the thought of the process you go through when entering or starting something as new and scary as college. The idea of making friends and the amount of course load and the horror of a scary professor seem, especially to those not blessed at birth with the social butterfly gene, like an impossible feat to overcome.

So what, then, is the best way to be the most comfortable and happy in this new environment? How do you get used to new surroundings, new people, new classes, new teachers, and all the other “news” associated with going off to school?

There are a few steps to take to achieve this goal.

First of all, make a priority list. Why did you enter this school in the first place? What led you to choose it? Was it the size? Maybe it was the majors? Perhaps even the location! Either way, write down your reasons for wanting to be there and what things you really loved about it. This will help you remember positive things when you are feeling down in the dumps.

Then, explore! This means finding out about different aspects of the school. They always give you a few days before classes start so use them! Look around, get a campus map and familiarize yourself with your environment. You can do it alone, or even with a buddy, maybe your roommate or someone you met at orientation. Get to know the different areas of campus and the best ways to get from one place to another. Take advantage of maps and offices with staff members in them. Ask lots of questions, someone is bound to know the answer.

The next thing to do is find out about clubs. Usually there is some kind of club expo where all of the groups, clubs, teams, sororities and fraternities are displayed. Ask questions, get involved, and find something that interests you. There is bound to be something!

In terms of all of the new people, keep in mind just that; they are all new! Hundreds if not thousands of freshman are entering schools every August and September and they are all just as frightened as you are! The most important thing to do if you are not as comfortable<> being social is to always smile. People feel more comfortable around people who smile, and you are more likely to be approached by someone who is more comfortable talking to strangers if you look as though you are willing to be approached. Also, not all upper classmen are evil, so please don’t be scared of them. Oftentimes, they will be your best asset because they’ve been at the school for awhile.

The idea of the “scary professor” whose aim is to give you as much work as humanly possible and perhaps take you to his dungeon where he has a torture chamber is-mostly- inaccurate. Just like in high school, there will be teachers you like and teachers you dislike. While many schools place you in classes without you really choosing them yourself (at least your first semester), most schools allow you to choose your own classes and your own professors. Take advantage of websites that rate professors because they are generally pretty accurate. Also, feel free to use other students for information. Again, upperclassmen have been there, and done that! While they may not have the same taste as you, they can usually tell you what kind of teaching style the professor has and you can decide whether or not it’s a good fit for you.

The most important thing to learn about college is that no matter how big or small, you have the power to change anything. If you are uncomfortable with a roommate, you can request to switch. If you decide your major is not the right fit for you, you can also change that. If a class is proving not to be what you thought it was or you do not get along with a teacher, there is always an add/drop period where you can switch into another class. Don’t be afraid to make a decision and have an opinion, because in the end you and your parents are paying for an education and for you to be happy and comfortable and learn a lot!

In about one hour, this DVD will show your son or daughter how to smartly handle their money matters and stay on track at home and at college.

Samples of Topics Covered in the DVD:
How to stay out of credit card problems
Maintain your personal cash flow
How to stay financially focused and on track in college
How to Protect yourself on campus from ID theft, fraud and rip-offs
Plus many tips to avoid problems at home and college.
How to avoid excessive spending in college
Common money problems & traps that college kids fall into
Living within your means at College.
How not to get buried by excessive debt
Managing your bills

The Federal government just published a report which involved the U.S. Secret Service, Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the Education Department which analyzed acts of violence on college campuses. The report address the most common causes and motivations behind the crimes and revealed some interesting findings:

One of the key conclusions of the study was that attackers are most likely to target specific persons because they have an intimate relationship with the victims.

The report: defined the following “Factors that Motivated or Triggered the Directed Assaults”

Related to an Intimate Relationship 33.9%
Retaliation for Specific Action(s) 13.7%
Refused Advances or Obsession with the Target 10.1%
Response to Academic Stress/Failure 10.1%
Acquaintance/Stranger Based Sexual Violence 9.7%
Psychotic Actions 7.9%
Workplace Dismissal/Sanction 6.2%
Need to Kill / Specific Victimology 3.1%
Draw Attention to Self/Issue(s) 3.1%
Bias Related 2.2%

In future CollegeTipsForParents.org posts, we plan to provide tips and information from security experts on staying safe at college, campus safety, and security at college.